Letting Go of Regret
Where can we go when the past clouds our present?
I struggle to stay in the present. How about you? Do you find yourself dwelling on past mistakes, missteps, & failures? I certainly do. Lately, I’ve really regretted some of my life choices - time wasted, decisions made & unmade, opportunities squandered due to my own fear. Despite these very real regrets, I’ve realized that my tendency to live in the past robs me of my agency in the present. It keeps me shackled to the unchangeable, diverting my focus from taking healthy steps now. We can’t change the past & we cannot see into the future. God wants us to live in the present, walking in step with Him at the pace He carefully designed for us.
God offers more grace than we sometimes extend to ourselves. We judge our past selves with the knowledge, tools, & maturity that we have now that we didn’t have back then. My grace is sufficient for you, God says. Why do we attempt to subtract from it?
Give yourself permission to let go of the past & step into the present. God offers us so much in the here & now. His Word is living & active. Things are growing, springing up, & blossoming today - are you missing it? Living in the past is like taking the scenic route & then looking through the rearview mirror the entire drive. Imagine the majestic peaks, sprawling oceans, verdant trees, vibrant flowers, & picturesque sunsets we’d miss if we stared through the rearview mirror? Many of us do this in real life. If you’re anything like me, you spend more time peering through the rearview mirror of life - staring back at missed opportunities, poor choices, things you’d do differently, paths you wish you’d never taken - rather than focusing on all that lies immediately before you - God’s present work, His present gifts, immediate things worth trying & developing within yourself.
Are you waiting to achieve a certain thing before fully living the life God has given you? As I seek a new career path, I oftentimes deny myself the joy of doing certain things until I achieve the career. I’m hesitant to be around others, to have fun, or to consider hobbies. There are absolutely times in life when we need to prioritize some things over other things in order to bear the fruit that God has called us to. However, we must be careful not to idolize a job, a relationship status, or any other pursuit even as we seek to lay hold of the things we believe God is calling us to. Praise the Caller over the calling. Don’t be afraid to live fully just because things in one area of your life aren’t “perfect.” Don’t wait until you feel like your present finally makes up for your past before enjoying what God has for you right here.
I’ve often found that my avoidance is a fear response. I’m sometimes so unhappy with the present & so afraid to repeat my failures that I’d rather escape into the past, a place where there are no moving parts, no pressing decisions. It’s like rewatching a familiar movie - the script is already written; all I can do now is rewind the tape & critique it.
God is the author of all things. If He is the author of my future, isn’t He the author of my past as well? Nothing is a surprise to Him. That is a comforting thought. I may have messed up but God has written a plan that not even I can mess up. Instead of beating myself up, I can choose to reflect: What can I learn from my mistakes? What did God teach me through the mess & how can I use it to help someone else?
Where can we go when the past clouds our present? We can go to the light of God’s Word. His Word breaks through the darkness & restores our hope. Below you’ll find some scripture for comfort if you’ve been feeling defeated by the thought of past mistakes, missed opportunities, or overall disappointment in your life:
Romans 8:28 — And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
God is working all things together. He wastes nothing. The things in your past - whether trials, failures, or pain may be a ministry opportunity, a way to comfort others, or a testimony that leads someone to Christ. Don’t disparage & dissect the path that led you to this very moment. Consider your life holistically, realizing that the Lord is weaving all things together.
Jeremiah 29:11 — For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
God has good things in store for you. Even if your life on earth is riddled with pain, hurt, & disappointment, a good future promised by God will ultimately be fulfilled in heaven for all who believe in Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior. No matter the mistakes in your past, God has a future full of hope in store for you.
Isaiah 43:18-19 — “Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
Look for the “new thing” that God is doing presently. In what areas of your life can you spot God paving roads in the wilderness or placing rivers in the desert? To see these things, your eyes must be open to the present. Don’t squander the present by remaining fixed in the past.
Philippians 4:6-7 — Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
God’s peace surpasses all understanding. We may not understand why certain things have to be part of our story but God understands & He will usher in His peace as we trust Him through prayer & gratitude.
Proverbs 3:5-6 — Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.
Trust God with your whole story, including the parts that don’t make sense yet. When you acknowledge God’s authority in your life, you begin to sense His direction with greater confidence. You no longer seek to write your own story. You instead desire God’s perfect path for your life.
Be encouraged, friends. Your story isn’t over. Your mistakes aren’t too much for God xx