Accepted
I don’t fit in and I no longer want to.
The patch of grass was at times my lonely refuge in elementary school. My bedroom was my silent shelter in middle and high school. College was a wide open sea, an unmoored odyssey in the middle of an ocean expanse.
What is the difference between lonely and alone? Between loneliness and solitude? I believe loneliness is received, claimed but unwanted, taken but undesired. Solitude is selected, not received. Sought out, not suffered through. Held, not hated. There is an agency to solitude. Solitude is a choice, if you allow it to be. Solitude can be a window to a secret place - within yourself, within your world, with God. Solitude is an invitation to an upper room. Solitude is spiritual, if you let it be.
Jesus went off to be alone to pray. He invites us into solitude as well. We can join Him there. There is power in choosing solitude.
Have you found yourself in an unfamiliar place recently? Perhaps you’re at a new school, in a new office, or settling into a new city. If so, I’m there with you. It can be difficult to connect and build community. These situations can bring feelings of loneliness. They can trigger memories of past lonely seasons of feeling rejected, unwanted, and like an outsider.
As I grappled with some of those feelings today, there was a temptation to fall into a state of pity and loneliness. Old familiar thoughts came flooding in - “I’ll never be apart of anything. I’m always an outsider. I’ll never connect like others do.” However as I’ve gone deeper with God over the past year, I’ve learned to take every thought captive. As the negative thoughts rolled in, I remembered that God has a different narrative for me than the one I sometimes tell myself. Despite my thoughts and feelings, I received a sense of peace. Perhaps the Holy Spirit was offering me solitude in exchange for loneliness.
A shift in perspective can make all the difference in life. Maybe I’m not lonely in this season, but alone. On lonely childhood days, I wasn’t set aside - I was set apart. As an adult struggling to connect, I am not rejected - I am redirected to the One who loves me as I am, quirky personality and all. The lonely times have empowered me to comfort others in the ways I have been comforted, to maybe be the solitary light in someone else’s lonely darkness. I walk in solitude ready and available to walk hand in hand with the lonely, heartbroken, rejected, and unaccepted. In my solitude, I am called to reveal the love of God, the transformative power of Christ, and the supernatural healing of the Holy Spirit. Turning loneliness into solitude is a ministry that we can all be apart of.
My story isn’t loneliness, it’s solitude. Yours can be too. We are set apart for sacred works. The solitary road is quiet that we might hear the voice of God above the noise of this world. The path is spacious, that every space may be filled by the Spirit. The journey is fulfilling because Jesus is the well that never runs dry and He calls us to drink from it. He invites us to green pastures, to still waters, all the way to restoration of our souls. Solitude is the way of the Shepherd. Can you hear His voice? The sheep know it. All we must do is listen for it. In solitude.
I don’t fit in because I am not of this world. Neither are you. I don’t want to fit in. I want to be so filled with the Spirit that I can’t fit in because I am enlarged by His indwelling, called and anointed for greater things than the lonely child in me could have ever imagined.
God has prepared a place for me and every believer. I am already accepted and it is an eternal acceptance - it can never be earned, simply received. Loneliness is not our portion. If you have been receiving loneliness, I invite you to instead receive the acceptance of Jesus Christ who loves you (John 3:16), formed you (Psalm 139:13), chose you, and calls you (I Peter 2:9-12).
Once you embrace that God loves you and accepts you through Jesus Christ, other people’s acceptance no longer feels so important. Loneliness is replaced by solitude as we realize that we are sacred through His blood, set apart for the work of the Kingdom, set on the Rock, standing on every promise, strengthened for every trial, and stretched to hold even more of the Spirit.
I’m choosing solitude this week and I hope you will join me xx Elise Chanelle